Updated: Jul 29, 2022
Loneliness can creep into long-term relationships and really colour EVERYTHING. And it can be tempting to tell your partner you're feeling lonely and wait for them to change so you can feel better (I've been guilty of this myself in the past).
Here are 2 ways you can take that lonely feeling into your own hands, 2 small things you can try that could have a big impact on how lonely you feel.
The first is to access the childlike part of yourself, the part that likes to play and have fun, and bring that part out when you're with your partner. That childlike part shows love more than the "responsible adult" part of yourself might show love, and also may be able to accept love more easily than the responsible adult part of yourself. It's amazing how your felt experience of life can change simply by accessing a different part of yourself.
The second technique is to simply share bits of yourself with your partner that you may not have previously shared. When loneliness sets in, it can feel unsafe to share even small bits of information about your day - you worry you'll be rejected. But this lack of sharing can actually make your loneliness feel a lot bigger - the less you share, the more disconnected and lonely you'll feel. So, even though it will be scary to share information about yourself and your day, and even though you may not get the response you want, something about the act of sharing yourself with another person lets you know that you CAN do it - and this helps lift the heaviness and hopelessness of loneliness.
Would love to hear from you! Let me know if you've ever experienced loneliness in your relationship and, if so, what you did about it. I think it's so important to talk about the REALITY of relationships - they're hard and at times they can bring out the worst in us. At other times, of course, they can bring out the best in us! No matter what the state of your relationship is right now, the good news is that simple, small shifts can really help improve the QUALITY of your most important relationships.
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E-Course: After An Affair: Rebuilding Your Relationship (Trust, Sex and All) - https://www.jenatharani.com/ecourse-affairs
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Questions or comments? Reach out to Jena via her contact form at jenatharani.com!