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If you can't handle it when your partner cries... here's what to do.

If you've ever walked out of the room when your partner starts to cry, or sat by helplessly watching them, not sure what to do, or tried talking to them LOGICALLY about why it doesn't make sense that they're getting so upset... this post is for you.

When someone we love cries, it's common to feel helpless and powerless. It's also important to realize that your mirror neurons are creating the same feeling in YOU that you're witnessing in your partner. If you're someone who grew up with the story that only weak people cry, or that crying is unacceptable, this feeling inside you will create a TON of discomfort.

As a result, you might try to stop your partner from crying, or maybe just walk out of the room, to escape your own discomfort. This will make your partner feel totally alone and unloved, and will likely create MORE problems in your relationship.

The good news is, there's a simple formula you can follow when your partner cries that will help you be THERE for them - without having to do much.

  1. Breathe. You need to calm your own body so you can be present for them.

  2. Sit next to them.

  3. Touch them in some way (as long as they are comfortable with touch and tend to find it soothing - if you're not sure if your partner likes touch, simply ask - is it okay if I touch you?)

  4. Softly say "It makes sense that you feel this way. I'm here." This will help them feel understood and loved.

  5. Sit with them as they cry. Your mere presence is enough - you don't need to do anything fancy to be useful here.

This simple formula will help you to give your partner what they truly need in that moment - to feel seen, cared for, and like what they're feeling makes sense.

Watch this short TikTok video for a visual recap, and follow along for more helpful relationship tips!

1 Comment

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